Let's Play Pretend
by ChristmasInHollywood
Summary: Postchosen, I suppose. Buffy and Spike hire three babysitters to look after their 5yearold daughter. Poor babysitters. I've changed the rating because... well, read it and find out. COMPLETE!
1. Too much pink

Disclaimer: I own May, Bianca, Annie and Mabs. Nothing else. Literally.  
  
A/N: I got this idea from 'The Call' by gidgetgirl.  
  
Buffy pulled a face in the mirror.  
"So none can look after May. They're all going? What are we going to do?" Spike shrugged, although Buffy couldn't see this in the mirror.  
"Dunno, pet. We're gonna have to get a babysitter." Buffy choked and spun round.  
"A babysitter? Are you insane?" Spike laughed.  
"No, luv. I think it's our only option." Buffy sighed.  
"Alright. I'll look in the... whatsit. Telephone directory." She walked off and bustled around in a bookshelf.  
  
Half an hour and much page-turning later, Buffy dialed the first relevant number she found.  
"Hello? Are you B.A.M., baby-sitting company."  
"Hello, Bianca speaking."  
"Hi. Listen, Are you free tomorrow night?"  
"Yes, we are. Name, please?"  
"Buffy Summers. Listen, my daughter May is a little... energetic. Are you okay with that?"  
  
Bianca scribbled down the details the young woman on the other end of the line was saying, talking in her business woman drone. After a century of questions and answers she hung up and turned to her friends, Annie and Mabel, aka Mabs.  
"Babysitting job tomorrow. Everyone's free, right?" Her friends nodded or muttered agreement. Bianca clapped her hands together. "Ok then!"  
  
On the night of the party, Buffy stood at the mirror again. She twisted her hair in to the most elegant hairstyle she could bear wearing, and looked down in dismay at her outfit. It was so... pink. Then there was a ring at the door.  
"Oh God! It's them." She ran down the stairs, laughing at Spike in his suit, and opened the door. Three girls stood in the porch. One had sleek black hair, cropped short and piercing green eyes. When she spoke, Buffy recognized her as the one she had spoken to on the phone. The second girl was quite short and round, with mousy-colored hair and glasses. She had quite a high-pitched voice, and was wearing an even more sickeningly- pink outfit than Buffy. The third girl was tall, with dark brown hair and wide blue eyes. The black-haired one, Bianca, spoke.  
"Hello. We're here to-"  
"Oh, yeah, course. Come in." Buffy looked around nervously. "Just a word of warning: don't mention vampires or demons, or anything like..." Bianca nodded.  
"Most children are scared of monsters. That's totally normal." Buffy nodded vaguely.  
"Mmm. She needs to be in bed by 7. Leave the light on in the landing, she gets scared... oh, and if she's hungry she can get her own food. We'll be back by midnight. Thankyou so much." She beckoned Spike to follow her out of the house, and slipped on a pair of (pink) shoes.  
  
A/N: Just a short chapter to start. I will continue if you like it. 


	2. What kind of kid says slayed?

I've decided to continue with this story. Thanks to gidgetgirl for reviewing the first chappie. R&R everyone, and this shall continue.  
  
Buffy and Spike closed the door behind them. The three girls walked up the stairs, following a small female voice.  
"... and BAM! Monster's dead. The slayer stabs him and POOF! He explodes." Mabs put her head round the door. A little brunette girl was sitting cross-legged on a bed emblazoned with a Barbie logo. In one hand she held a Barbie, and in the other, a large toy dinosaur. Mabs noticed with slight alarm that the girl had managed to ram a pencil right through the dinosaur, which was made of solid plastic.  
"Hello," she said kindly, "we're your babysitters. If you need anything, we'll be downstairs." The little girl looked up.  
"Hello babysitter-girl. I'm called May. Do you slay vampires?" Mabs gaped at her.  
"Um, no." May sighed.  
"You'll probably die soon, then." Mabs started to back away. May realized she had caused alarm. "Maybe you won't, but you just need to be ready, 'cause you could go BAMCRASHSPLATDEAD!" to emphasize her point, she crushed the Tweenies clock by her bed flat. She was very strong for a 5- year-old.  
"Well," said Mabs, "I'll be downstairs." With that, she turned and walked off.  
  
Annie looked up in mild anticipation as Mabs walked in.  
"Well," she said, "angel? Or little monster?" Mabs groaned and flung herself into a chair.  
"Very strong for her size. Asked me if I 'slayed vampires'. What kind of kid says 'slayed'?" Annie shrugged.  
"Beats me."  
  
A/N: Short chapter, but the next one will be longer. 


	3. Tomato juice?

Yes! I am continuing! Thankyous to Sinister Chic Heather Martin and Dru619. I love you guys. Note: Anya is alive.  
  
May thumped around in her bedroom, playing some kind of game. Annie had been up there, and knew it had something to do with 'demons and nasties'. The girl had an incredible imagination, more so than any kid they'd sitted before. She was also very fast, and very strong. She could get up the stairs in 2 seconds flat, and hold the bathroom door shut against the three of them. They heard her coming down the stairs. She was eerily quiet for a toddler, but there was one creaky stair that gave her away.  
"I'm hungry." She announced proudly, hands on her hips. Annie smiled painfully.  
"Your mommy said you could get your own food... do you need my help?" May looked scornfully at her.  
"Don't be a stupid babysitter. I can get it." She flounced off dramatically to the kitchen, and came back several minutes later with red smears around her mouth.  
"Go wash your face May," said Bianca flatly, "you've got tomato all over your chin." May scowled.  
"It's not tomato juice silly, it's blood." Bianca raised her eyebrows.  
"Sure." May hmmmphed and went to wash her face.  
  
May sat in the living room with the babysitters. She refused flatly to go to bed, despite their protests.  
"Mommy and Daddy stay up very late ever night. They go out and kill the demons and vampires and nasties. Only the bad ones, though." Bianca rolled her eyes, and May looked at her in outrage. "They DO!" Mabs leaned forwards, interested.  
"Who looks after you normally?"  
"Um... Willow does sometimes, and so do Anya and Xander. They have lots of sex on the sofa, but I'm not allowed to tell Mommy and Daddy that." Annie was looking horrified.  
"Who told you about sex?" May shrugged, as though it was nothing.  
"Anya told me. It's what men and ladies do when they love each other, and also when they're Drunk." She said 'drunk' as though it was a title of some kind. "Willow says that just women can do it together as well. That's what she does." Mabs gaped, and said the next thing without stopping herself.  
"She's a lesbian?" May nodded.  
"That's what Mommy says. She thinks I don't know what it means. But I do. Willow wouldn't tell me, but Anya did. I like Anya." She smiled in a self-satisfied way. Bianca whispered to Mabs.  
"I wonder how old Anya is?"  
"She's nine hundred and something." Bianca looked down her nose at May.  
"No, I mean really." May nodded.  
"Reallyreallyreally, silly babysitter." Bianca frowned.  
"You know, you can stop calling us that." May scowled in her toddler- like way.  
"I can call you badder things. Like wanker and bastard and..."  
"What's a wanker?" Annie laughed at Mabs.  
"It's an English swearword." Mabs shook her head sadly at May.  
"You are one demented kid." May looked at her oddly.  
"I'm not a kid. I'm half-vampire and half-slayer." Bianca groaned. "You don't have to believe me, silly, sodding, babysitter people. It's true though." Annie sighed.  
"Time for bed now, May." May crossed her arms and flumped on the sofa.  
"No!"  
  
The three girls spent five minutes trying to pull May upstairs, but the little girl stayed stiff as iron. Eventually, they realized that there was no way getting her off the sofa, and gave up.  
  
If you liked this story so far, review. Also, should I make a whole little series about May and her escapades? Tell me. 


	4. Anya

And here is my next chap. YAY! Thankyou BlackCherryMeg16, Ms Trick and Ivo- tentye, my reviewers make this all so worthwhile. A/N: Anya is still a vengeance demon, and (as you may have guessed already) she and Xander are together.  
  
May sat on the sofa, grinning with satisfaction. All the babysitters could do was ask her questions. Bianca went first.  
"So your name, May. Where did that idea come from?" May thought for a moment.  
"I dunno. Daddy wanted to call me Drusilla but then him and Mommy had an argue 'cause Drusilla was Daddy's ex-girlfriend before Mommy. Mommy wanted to call me Joyce 'cause that's what her mommy was called." May thought for a moment. "Her mommy's dead though, and she didn't want to be reminded all the time. So my middle name is Joyce." The babysitters all nodded, it seemed normal enough.  
  
When Mabs finally took May up to her room, she had more problems.  
"May, why do you think vampires will come in through your window at night? Please let me open it, it's like a furnace in here."  
"Because they do come through the window... if you invite them." May seemed to know a lot about vampire legend. Mabs decided to put it down to irresponsible parents letting her watch horror movies. She walked down to the others, and sat down, exhausted, on the sofa. Annie pushed her glasses back onto her nose.  
"Everything OK?" Mabs rolled her eyes in a Bianca-like way.  
"Yeah, apart from the vampire that comes through her window, or something." Annie laughed her annoying laugh.  
"God, she's weird." At that moment, there was a ring on the doorbell, and Bianca rushed to the door. They heard a woman's voice.  
"Sorry, I must have come to the wrong house. Um... does Buffy Summers live on this road?" Then they heard Bianca's voice, sounding strangely urgent.  
"Yes, she lives here, we're babysitting her daughter, come inside quickly."  
  
Bianca walked in, holding the arm of a blonde woman who was staggering slightly. This was probably because of the massive gash across her forehead, which she had her hand over. Blood was seeping through her fingers. Annie gasped.  
"Oh God, what is it?" The woman huffed.  
"That's not very nice. To most people I look perfectly human." Mabs looked at her strangely.  
"Huh?" The woman blinked, looking slightly startled, as though she had said something she wasn't supposed to. Then they heard the familiar stair-creak of May coming downstairs.  
"Hello Anya!" May looked at the woman. "Oh no! A nasty got you!" The blonde woman gave her a small glare, as though in warning.  
"No May... someone hit me with... er... a bat." She stood up, ready to go. Bianca stopped her.  
"May talks about you a lot. She obviously really likes you." Anya smiled slightly.  
"Well, I have taught her a lot. Buffy's a bit of a rubbish mother if you ask me." Bianca nodded slowly.  
"Right." Anya gave another, bigger smile and walked out of the door, blood still dripping through her fingers. May smiled.  
"That was Anya." The babysitters nodded and said, in perfect unison, "We know."

A/N review, and there'll be mucho moro. Read my other story too... but it's not funny. At all. Anyway, review. 


	5. Normal life

Finally I'm updating! This will be the final chapter, but ah well.  
  
Thankyou to Chelle86 and aLiE fEIToN, and also to Pastel1004 (I never said Spike had a reflection!).  
  
And here it is:  
  
It was eleven thirty, and all three babysitters were watching the clock in anticipation. May was NOT asleep (they could tell from the noises coming from upstairs) and they were all exhausted. Usually they managed to get about five minutes sleep, but tonight it was as though May knew exactly when they were dropping off, and would start to sing loudly.  
"Let me rest in PEACE! Yeah! Let me get some sleep, let me take my love an' bury it in a HOLE that's six foot deeeeeep..." Mabs had a pillow over her head, and was either asleep or dead from suffocation; Annie was stuffing her fingers in her ears (which was quite hard as she had small ears and rather fat fingers) and Bianca, ever the professional, was still sitting up, though looking incredibly tired.  
  
The meeting with 'Anya' had been about the strangest thing in Bianca's babysitting experience – and being a year older than the others she had more than them. She had been expecting a small girl who went to May's playgroup or something, not a twenty-something-year-old friend f Buffy's... mind you, there was what May had said about Anya and Xander, whoever Xander was.  
  
The babysitters had noticed that the Summers' house was very strange. There were all sorts of old books that Bianca had forbidden the others to touch. But when her back was turned they sneaked a look and discovered that every single book was on weird mythology, or written in weird languages. There was also a large and scary collection of weapons in a large wooden case tucked neatly behind the sofa.  
  
Listening closely to May, for any signs of sleepiness, Annie (fingers out of ears and now very red) heard her singing a new song, this time quietly and almost sadly.  
"I'm under your spell..." At that moment the babysitters heard the door open and sighed in relief.  
  
As Buffy and Spike walked in they were obviously in the middle of an argument.  
"... always comparing me to her! Has it ever occurred to you that I don't LIKE being compared to your crazy ex girlfriend?"  
"Yeah well it's not like you're never comparing me to Angel!"  
"I have NEVER compared you to..."  
"Yes you have!"  
"Have not."  
"Have too."  
"Have not."  
"Have too."  
"Have not."  
"Look, we're back. Drop it, pet."  
"Ha! You lose!"  
"Did not!"  
  
After what seemed like an age, they stopped. Bianca and the others got their money (more than they usually got, but Bianca felt they deserved it). She also had a feeling that this was normal life for them.  
  
But for unusual people, it would have to be. And Bianca knew she would always be normal.  
  
Until the next day, when the weird tweed guy told her she was a slayer. 


End file.
